2023
Oil on canvas
48” x 48”

Was that all it was?

This is the final piece of the ‘The Quiet Part, Out Loud’. A question, and yet also a statement.

The portrait here – a self-portrait – is incomplete and obscured. It has been through the wringer, as grief does. But it’s up to interpretation as to whether this figure is in the process of healing, being dragged further into the swamp, or staying stagnant and static.

The title can be read in multiple ways as well. Is it dismissive? Is it referring to the processing of grief, or is it a statement about what’s left after the process? Is it a literal question about the show itself? I can’t answer any of these. But hopefully you find some answers for yourself.

This was a very cathartic body of work. The most challenging and personal of my work at that time. Many tears were shed, many memories opened, many times questioning my intentions. But I’m glad I went through it, and I appreciate that you all came along.

Again, shout out to Station Gallery curator Olex Wlasenko for the stroke of genius of keeping the title mostly lowercase, like a proper sentence. It really grounded the work as a sentence that might be uttered by a viewer. And thank you to Olex and the Station Gallery as a whole for allowing me the space to display everything I was feeling inside

Three notes before I close this out:

One, the striations on this painting were done with an afro pick – a throwback to the same technique I used on this other piece years earlier.

Two, there are three songs that kinda reflected my thoughts and feelings about this show as I was creating it, all dealing with grief in a broad sense, and relating it to my own thoughts and feelings. Check them out if you wish:
“Fourth of July” – Sufjan Stevens
“Meantime” – BeBe & CeCe Winans
“Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst” – Kendrick Lamar

And three, please feel free to peep the original notes I wrote for the show, as well as the original card I used to track the progress on all those drawings.