2023
Charcoal on paper
11” x 11” each

The latter of the pieces in the ‘Distortion’ series.

Interesting to note, out of the eleven series in this section of the show, this one has the highest percentage of drawings that feature me. Seven of the ten have me within them. A cool 70%. I wonder why that is.

I’ve always held a distorted view of myself than what other people see, largely due to suffering very low self-esteem for the majority of my life. Even now, my self-esteem could be better. That must have come into play. But it wasn’t purposeful. I just liked the composition of the reference photos, and distorted them.

But it’s interesting that there’s a parallel between how I view myself, and how grief distorts memory into something unrecognizable. Am I subconsciously grieving a part of me that’s lost? A part that’s still there? I’d probably need a therapist to unpack the rest of that, so I’ll just leave it.

In contrast, five of the series – ‘Incomplete’, ‘Cycle’, and the next three – contain no images of me in them, for various reasons. Now, could one argue that since I took the majority of the reference photos, and collected the rest from family and friends, that I’m technically in all of these drawings? Yes, but that takes the fun out if it.